this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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