She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
