I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize