I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
