Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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