She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
