We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
