dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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