Rock
Scissors
Fuck
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
