Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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