Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
They took my balls.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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