The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
