Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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