Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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