dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
