I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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