What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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