I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
