Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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