Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
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My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
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Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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