I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
