You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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