I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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