my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I AM VODKA MAN
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Help. Why am I so naked?
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