he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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