How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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