After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
