just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
