just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
