the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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