Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I need help removing her.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
