cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I love having hate sex.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
