Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE