Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Can Purell be used as lube?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.