There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.