I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO