he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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