happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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