Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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