I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
