I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
