Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
