literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
