Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
