I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
