ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
