nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
