You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
