and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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