Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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