My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
