5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Randomize
