One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
