I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I need to calm my uterus...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
