3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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