I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
