What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
