My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
