apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We left an ass print on the piano.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
