Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
