It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
