Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
