And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
