just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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