She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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