there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
